you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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