at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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