He managed to light the Jello on fire...
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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