Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
