I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
BRING THE BAGELS
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
