i don't like sucking hair
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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