my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
