The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Randomize
