when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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