watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
