i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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