Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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