I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Randomize
