Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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