singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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