stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Randomize
