he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I bet he comes in French.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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