"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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