I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
