You smell like stripper and shame
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
