Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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