I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
