we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize