There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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