I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
This is the high leading the old right now
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
