I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
We talked him into tasing himself.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize