Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Randomize
