Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
