His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
