Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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