do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
