his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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