we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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