He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I need a beard to bite.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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