shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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