What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
