i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
