i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
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