i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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