I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize