Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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