Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
