two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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