his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
