Me too!
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
