i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Randomize
