Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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