Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Randomize
