come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
