I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
