I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
