I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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