why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
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