Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
