My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
