Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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