false alarm. still invincible.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
